I hit a big milestone last week at boot camp, and it got me thinking… getting healthy physically is similar to getting healthy relationally. How so?
THEY BOTH REQUIRE INTENTIONALITY & A PROCESS TO GET RESULTS
Let me explain…
1. INTENTIONALITY: Big changes don’t happen overnight, they take time. But, smaller two degree changes over time can lead to a big change. You can’t lose 10 pounds in one week and if you do lose a lot of weight quickly, it usually doesn’t last. According to Malia Frey, a weight loss expert writing on About Health, dropping a daily large Coca-Cola from McDonald’s completely (if you drink about one per day) would result in reducing your annual calorie intake by over 200,000 calories — or about 60 pounds — in one year.
In the same way, relationships can benefit dramatically from a few small changes. Some of my favorite examples are:
- cleaning up emotional clutter with healthy communications
- understanding what it is like to work as a cohesive team
- getting to know the language of your family members, their personality and needs, so you have more understanding and compassion
These small, intentional changes lead to big relational breakthroughs.
2. A PROVEN PROCESS: I am a process person because I believe that the process takes the pressure off the person! With weight loss or building muscle, there are hundreds of programs, or processes available. If you sign up for a proven process then you don’t have to wonder if you are actually going to succeed. I remember seeing an interview with Renee Zellweger after she starred in Bridgette Jones Diary. She gained weight for the movie and when they asked how did she lose it she said, “I just do the math.” Of course that is simplistic, but it speaks to the science of weight loss. As families, our processes get imprinted in our kids lives and it becomes the norm. Family of origin is a powerful influence in our nurturing.
As a family coach, I see families struggling with norms like:
- being on the defense and reacting to life and each other
- feeling scattered and aimless
- making decisions based on outside influences that aren’t authentic to who they are
- not communicating to understand each other, which causes frustrated and and leads to relational ruptures
- Connecting transactionally and not relationally
Going through a process to intentionally address these with quick wins, tools, and resources can impact your family for generations.
3. PRODUCES RESULTS: The intentionality to follow a process leads to results! When you go on autopilot, those small decisions can create a vicious cycle, like drinking a daily soft drink, or living in undesirable relational patterns. But, when you apply helpful tools to relationships, you can create a virtuous cycle.
The picture captures my milestone day, 400 Camp Gladiator workouts. Since I started years ago I have gotten leaner and stronger. And even when I don’t feel like going, I know I am going to get a good workout because my coach is there to lead me through the process, and she’s awesome at it… thank you Meredith Boyd!
I want the same for your family relationships! If you want to invest in an intentional proven process to impact your most important team by making small changes that lead to a big outcome, let’s set up a call to discuss. I’d love to help you build a foundation for relational health in your family.
Your Family Coach,
Cristin Parker